102 ways to Annoy
by therussianbookworm
Summary: This is a VC chronicles story. The charaters belong to Anne Rice and By no means am I making off of this. I did this with my friends. There is going to be one for most of the charaters, and Some more fun! Don't understand it? THEN just read it!
1. 102 Ways to Annoy Armand!

**101 Ways to annoy Armand**

by dreamsareforever and friends

1. Say that Hannibal Lecter wanted you to tell him that he still hears the Russians screaming.  
2. Say that Marius hates him.  
3. When he tries to make fun of you say, " Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!" ( Watch out if he goes out to do just that.)  
4. Take away both versions of Blade Runner from him and replace it with the Notebook.  
5. Try to act as though your the boss of him.  
6. Act as though he's only 3 and not 500 and something.  
7. Make him watch Barney.  
8. Make him watch anything on "Sprout, Disney Playhouse and Nick Jr."  
9. Say that Lestat is the best thing in the world.  
10. Capture Louis, ( and keep untill he'll do some hulla dancing.)  
11. Act as though Armand is a cute little puppy dog that WON'T bite.  
12. Give his room a makeover. ( Girlstyle)  
13. Give HIM a makeover.  
14. Lock him up in a room with Pee Wee Herman.  
15. Lock him up in a room with Richard Simmons or Rosie O'Donnell.  
16. Go on a vacation without him.  
17. Put a bonnet on him.  
18. Force him to babysit 7 children. ( Makes sure the ages are 0-7).  
19. Make him babysit Claudia.  
20. Say that you love him.

21. Show him pictures of Louis and Lestat making out.  
22. Show him pictures of Marius canoodling some boytoy who's a lot prettier than Armand.  
23. photoshop his head onto carrot top's steroid-ridden body.  
24. dye his hair blond, give him a perm and say: NOW Marius and Louis can love you!  
25. have his picture featured on with questionable spots on his face...

26. Show every vampire he knows pictures of him and Marius 'getting comfortable' in the hot tub.

27.replace all his clothes with lil sailor and boyscout suits  
28.replace his DVD collection with nothing but cheesey high school movies blah  
29.show him pictures of Marius and Pandora together  
30.lock him in a room with Umbridge from HP  
31.replace all his cds with Lestat's music

32. Show him pictures of Marius and Bianca together.  
33. Lock him up with Claudia.  
34. Take away ALL his clothes execpt for a bathrobe. ( that's pink with flowers on it)  
35. Say noone likes you.  
36. Say Drew Sarich is better than you.  
37. Replace him with Drew Sarich.  
38. On vaction , make him room with Lestat.  
39. Replace all his clothes with either baby clothes or little girls clothes.  
Personal troubles  
40. Tell him to walk into the bathroom to kill a spider just to have him find no spider but to walk into a woman going to the bathroom.

41. At a public place replace the men's room bathroom sign with the Woman's.  
( replace it back after he walks in)  
42. Give him a tampon.

43. Lock him up with an extremly drunk Jack Sparrow.  
44. Tie him up and don't let him go untill he says I love you to you or your best friend ( Who is a huge Armand fan)  
45. two words, TICKLE FIGHT!  
46. Put makeup on him while he's asleep.  
47. Force Prume juice down his throat.  
48. Make him watch the "Very Happy Elf" Christmas special.  
49. Make him watch the Star Wars holliday special. ( I love Star Wars, but that just sucked!)  
50. Lock him up with tons of fangirls.( WARNING: MAKE SURE HE JUST FED! Elm..lol!)  
51. Have a slumber party... In his room!  
52. Lock HIM out of his room.  
53. Lock him up in a room with a VERY GRUMPY Mojo  
54. Make him watch the PowerPuffGirls!  
55. Lock him up in a room with Paris Hilton!  
56. Lock him up in a room with... FLAVOR FLAV!  
57. Say that you LOVE Santiago.  
58. Say that you love that dress he's wearing. ( even though he's not wearing one)  
59. Say that he could have won cutest baby contest.  
60. Pinch his cheeks!  
61. Say " Got your NOSE!"  
62. Sign him up for ballet lessons.  
63. Steal his credict card and spend ALOT of money.  
64. Make him go bankrupt.

65. Make him write " I will never touch Louis again"

66. Make Armand write I'm Ugly.

67. Make him write " Lestat is prettier than me

68. Make him SING that song that goes " I'm So pretty oh so pretty! (You know the rest!

69. Make him sing ALL of Lestat's songs.

70. Make him wear A "LESTAT FOREVER!" T-Shirt.

71. Glue A Bow in his hair. ( Make sure it's purple, heheh I like this one)

72. Use a HOT GLUEGUN to glue his hair into a mohawk.

73. Use a HOT GLUEGUN to glue his hair into PIGTAILS!

74. Use a HOT GLUEGUN to glue his hair into A French Braid!

75. Glue a Nest of Birds to his hair WITH LIVE BIRDS! ( I like this one too,heheh)

76. Give him a basket that says " CONGRATS ON THE BABY" and "IT'S A GIRL". Make sure it's full it's full of baby stuff.

77. Send him a card that says " Congrats! Your Pregnant!"

78. Send him a box of CHOCLATES!

79. Make him watch Cooking shows and then give him a test.

80. Say that You have Marius and you won't give him back untill you have all his stuff.

81. After he gives you the stuff. Say you don't like the stuff, keep the money,

destroy his Blade Runner DVD AND ! Don't give Marius back!

(Man! He's haveing a bad day!)

82. Do the same with Daniel.

83. Make him watch ChickFlicks 24/7 untill he's about to die.

84. Make him watch a very sad movie with you and HOLD his hand the whole time.

85. Lock him up in a room with: one of the CANNIBLES from POTC 2!

86.. After everything he says reply "and how does that make you feel?"  
87. Poke him repeatitively  
88. Refuse to scream while he tortures you.

89. Try to pick him off and hold him as though he is a baby.  
90. Lock him out of his house.  
91. Call him Andrei.  
92. Call him Amadeo.  
93. Make him watch every episode every known to man of Gilmore Girls.  
94. Lock him IN his house. ( Destroy the key)  
95. Make him watch Grease.  
96. Act as though he wasn't theres.  
97. Wake him up and say that they weren't going to realse the Blade Runner DVD after all.  
98. Make him watch Blue's Clues.  
99. Make him Watch Dora.  
100. Lock him up and put in a CD Of nothing but Cartman's horrible singing  
( from South Park), Press Replay and turn it to the max.  
101. Make him go back to school.  
102. Say that he has a very cute butt.


	2. 102 Ways to Annoy Louis!

101 Ways to Annoy Louis

Summery: This is chapter two of the "101 Ways to Annoy..." There are going to be one for most of the main vampires. Some like Marius. Will be a little tough, so if they aren't very good, bear with me. Others will either have to be cut short to 50 or Even 20! One last thing, if you see beside anything that means my friend Eadlin came up with it.  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of Anne Rice's characters. Not trying to make money or anything... Oh, and I don't hate "Star Wars geeks" as people call them.

1. Stick him in a room with Lestat and Armand and watch them play tug-a-Louis with him.  
2. Rob his rat supply.

3. Take away all his flame-throwers, candles, matches, lighters and anything else he can use to make a fire.

4. Give him a poodle as a pet.

5. Give him a solar-powered watch.

6. Have Lestat dress up as a Rat and give him a lap dance.

7. Burn his book case!  
8. Insult his writing.

9. Constantly insist that Interview with the Vampire isn't real. (You know what I mean hopefully)

10. Insist he's Brad Pitt in disguise.

11.Insult Claudia!  
12. Destroy any pictures, portraits, objects est. That belonged to Claudia or even Paul.

13. Sing "Lady Marmalade" to him. (Look up the lyrics in English...)

14. Say Your Claudia reincarnated.

15. Torture him by doing anything that would remind him as Claudia.

16. Say that you've seen Paul.

17. Say that Paul wants to contact him.

18. Force him on a stage.

19. When you see him leave his house, Jump on him!

20. Ask him to be your Valentine.

21. For a present, give him a picture of Santiago!

22. Give him a violin and call him Nicki!  
23. Say "I know what you did with Merrick Last night."

24. Try to bite his neck.

25. Steal his credit cards!  
26. As he's walking by, but your foot out and trip him!  
27. Give him a membership to Libby Lu! (My little niece is obsessed with that place. It certainly would annoy me!)

28. Have Lestat make TWIN child vampires and dump them on Louis  
29.Have Lestat train the new twin kiddie vamps to call Louis "mummy"

30. Lestat decides to buy Louis a pedigree pet; A rat. Called Louis.  
31. Burn all his other little houses.  
32.Have Lestat give him a makeover  
33.Burn his coffin and have all his bank accounts cancelled. Destroy all proof of his identity and anything else in order to prevent him from getting a new coffin so he has to bunk with Lestat. Or Armand.  
34.Have Lestat start up a fan club in honor of Louis (with Lestat and Armand as the president and vice president)

35. Throw a HUGE birthday party for him!  
36. Destroy his favorite movie "Company of Wolves".

37. Force Louis to get his hair done.

38. Make him at "Torch point" Sing.

39. Paint his room Pink.

40. Take out the blinds in his rooms. "So He can see the Sun Perfectly now!"

41. Arrange a meeting between him and Richard Simmons

42. Buy him tickets to his favorite show at an A.M show

43. Take away his Coffin

44. Have Daniel stalk him

45. Drop a jar of pickles and make Louis clean it up.

46. Whenever you want his attention yell either "Hey Butthead! I mean..Buttler!

47. Sign him up for the "Old Women's society club

48. Don't tell Louis that Lestat is planning on torching him to have him know what feels like to burn!

49. Make him teach a math class with 7th graders.

50. Get him a job at Subway!

51. Make him a mascot for his least favorite sports team. (If he even haves one)  
52. Have Oprah call him!  
53. Have Lestat and Louis consoled at the Dr. Phil show!  
54. Get Louis' hair done.

55. Constantly poke him.

56. Get him a Webkinz!

57. Make the whole world knows that LOUIS ONLY exists.

58. Say "Woo! Yo' breath smells funkay! Ever hear of a BREATH MINT!"

58. When he leaves his house, pull him aside and start snogging him.

59. Have Mojo the dog shit on his bed.

60. After giving Mojo a bath, have him dry off on Louis.

61. Give him a puppet of Lestat.

62. Adopt for him a pet piggy!

63. Buy him a tarantula farm.

64. Every time you walk past him pat his head and say "Good Puppy!"  
65. Dye his hair his least favorite color.

66. Pay Perez Hilton to snog him.

67. be evil as you possibly can and then all the sudden give him a hug

68. When he's asleep take him to the beach and burry him DEEP in the sand.

69. Lock him up with anyone from "Family Guy"  
70. Three words "Yo Momma Fiiiiggghhhhttt!"

71. Set him up on a blind date with Gabrielle

72. Set him up on a blind date with Santiago

73. Tell him a block of wood is Claudia returned!

74. Get him _past _addicted to The Sims and then have it taken away from him

75. Hire a construction company to build a giant swing set in his yard. Then, invite all the neighborhood kids!

76. Keep calling him Louise. When he corrects you say, "Ah! I get it! Sorry, Louisa!"

77. Take twin babies that are adopted under his name, and place them on his door step.

78. Sign him up for teaching Sex Ed.

79. Sign him up for Girl Scouts leader!  
80. Tell Gabrielle that Louis has a HUGE crush on her.

81. Tell Gabrielle that Louis calls her Mama Lioncourt.

82. Give him a job for the Newspaper route.

83. Have a Star Wars "geek" come to his door, to try and spread the 'religion' of Star Wars.

84. Tell a Star Wars "geek:" that George Lucas lives where Louis lives.

85. If Louis opens his mouth while sleeping, fill his mouth with lemon drops.

86. For his birthday, give him Legos! (Daniel would love that. Lol)

87. On Halloween, have kids RAID his house!  
88. Tell the kids a scavenger hunt full of candy and prizes are in Louis' house.

89. Give him the yappiest dog you can find.

90. Blind fold Louis and trick him into a girl's bathroom.

91. Drag Louis' coffin out and hire a funeral cast.

92. Then, Give him a funeral.

93. Ball and Gag Lestat to make Louis go on an actual adventure. (I'm sure Lestat would be willing!)  
94. Find his email and insist YOUR Louis.

95. Tie a camel to his porch.

96. Have a Malkavain come to his door. (If you play Vampire the Masquerade, you'll know what I'm talking about.)  
97. Same as above but a Nosferatu!

98. Force Marius and Louis to become lovers. (What? I think it's cute!)  
99. Cram Maharet's blood into his mouth.

100. Make him watch Desperate Housewives.

101. Take him to the première of Sex and the City.

102. Give him a meet n' greet to Sarah Jessica Parker. (Sorry, I can't stand her OR SatC)


	3. 102 Ways to Annoy Lefat!

102 Ways to Annoy the Vampire Lefat

By Darkwingsdesending

AN: I THNK that I can get this is to 100. We'll see. :-) Also, I have a few from the later books… Blackwood farm because that is the book I am on. Some of these are INSANE okay…I was on a sugar high lol

Disclaimer: These are not my characters. None of it belongs to me..It is all the property of Anne Rice. I am in no way making money. This is a LIST not a fan fiction. So please don't sue me! Thank you.

1. Break ALL of his mirrors.

2. Insist that Marius is better than him

3. Instead of Lestat, call him Lefat

4. Tell him he is ugly

5. Say that no matter what he does, Armand will _always_ be a better vampire

6. Take away ALL his hair products

7. Buy / Steal all copies of his books and destroy them

8. Say all his fledglings are mistakes

9. Give him a rat and insist it is Nicki reincarnated

10. Tell him his mother is really a lesbian

11. Tell him Gabrielle is engaged to Pandora

12. Tell him Gabrielle is actually a man

13. Tell him Gabrielle took him in as your explanation for her "maness"

14. Make him actually read a book

15. Hide his hairbrush

16. Fill all of his kitchens with goat milk

17. Hide his hairbrush

18. Tell all Walmarts to never let Lestat in through their doors again, not matter how much he pays them

19. Paint his nails pink. (Then again, he might like that…)

20. Insist that Gabrielle REALLY hates him!

21. Constantly remind him of Akasha

22. Tell the whole coven that he has a foot fetish. (*cough*Aunt Queen*cough*)

23. Dress up in doll-ish looking clothes and say you are Claudia returned

24. Tell him Louis has run off to go and be with Armand

25. Tell him Louis also secretly got married to Armand

26. Tell him Armand is now pregnant with their first child.

27. Next time he looses an eye, give him an eye patch!

28. Ask him why he isn't a priest, like he wanted to be as a child

29. Replace his VERY Expensive suits with Robes and Sandals

30. Elbow him and say, "So! Are you now in love with Mekare since you were in love with the former queen?"

31. Tell him Memnoch has escaped from hell and then, tape his reaction.

32. Put his reaction on Youtube

33. Give him a wooden eye instead of glass one (so it will remind him of Roger)

34. Put him on the Maury show and say, "Marius...You ARE THE FATHER OF LESTAT!"

35. Make him think that Quinn has come back from the dead….AGAIN

36. Force Stuart Townsend to his doorstep

37. Have Sterling (From Blackwood farm) go back AGAIN to his house.

38. Give him all copies of the New York Version of the Lestat the Musical

39. Have Mariachi band members go to his door step and sing...and sing…and sing…(then again, he might like that…WHAT do you think of it?)

40. Invite tons of extremely annoying TWILIGHT fan girls to his house and say that EDWARD lives there! (Hehehe…I hate the way twilight fans act…It would CERTAINLY bug me!)

41. Tell Lestat to walk into a certain room...only to see it is a nursery.

42. Lock him in there and force him to work with the children…for hours…

43. Ask Lestat to MAKE you dinner

44. Take creepily and claim you are Raglan James returned!

45. Bring a crazy Gretchen and lock Lestat in with her.

46. Have a Drunk Dora with Lestat…when she's not going through "her cycle" (If you read MtD you know what I'm talking about.)

47. Have him go on a blind date with Brittany Spears

48. Invite him to go on a concert…that is for Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. (BLECH!)

49. Take his eye/tongue and give them to Maharet and Mekare.

50. Tell him Armand had a miscarriage and that Louis really did commit suicide.

51. Ask him to **cook **ice cubes. Tell him to make them "more square"

52. Make Lestat clean up after himself

53. Reveal** everything **(names, addresses ect.) about Lestat so you can find him

54. Reveal everything about another vampire and then when the question you, play innocent and say it is Lestat's fault.

55. Ask him to make you his famous "Alligator Swamp Stew"

56. Force him to write a cook book for vampires

57. On **his **Sims game, make multiple Armand Sims.

58. Then, When he's playing, watch and tape what he is doing with him. (ie: seeing if he deletes them, does naughty things with them, use them for his fantasies, kill them...ect)

59. Find All of Lestat's diaries and publish them.

60. Tell Armand all about Lestat's naughtiest, dirtiest secrets.

61. Reveal to Armand that Lestat secretly has always had a secret crush on him.( Come on! We all know you do, Lestat.)

62. Give him a fake ticket to his favorite band/movie

63. Challenge him on the Mario Race games.

64. Take him to an Anime convention

65. Replace his colognes with cross smelling perfumes

66. Make him teach a P.E. class

67. Burn down all his house (Check If Louis had already done that.)

68. Send three packs of wild wolves after him. (make sure to tie a pack a meat around his waist.)

69. Force him to read the damned Twilight series

70. Tell him, if it isn't already "obvious" to him, that Louis is actually a woman

71. Tell him HE Is really a woman! (Lestat, petit Lestat is a lie…)

72. Spread mud all over his house and tell him a T-Rex did that.

73. Make him watch the EXTREMELY short live Viva Laughlin.

74. Give him a job as a mascot (or a salesman)

75. Give him a dead fish for his birthday

76. Ask him to Baby sit Khayman

77. Give him one of those cards that say the same thing on both sides (Example: How to keep an idiot busy turn over for the answer)

78. This one is from **AtlanaCullen: **Have Gabriella go up to Lestat and have Armand with her and have Gabriella be all like "Lestat there's something that I have been wanting to tell you...Armand's your brother."

79. Have the Police go to his door

80. Make him go bankrupt

81. Break all his nails…(I don't understand that…can they break?)

82. Have the fashion police go to his house so they may insult his clothing.

83. Have a screaming contest with him.

84. Force him to watch a marathon of "Full House".

85. Tell him Walmart has shut down.

86. If you have played Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines, remember how In China town the two old oriental guys were fighting? Well one of them said, "Stick this up your ass!" Giving him the finger…I had the humorous image of having that happen

87. Let Thorne out of cage so he can attack Lestat.

88. Tell him Mojo has either: Run away or died…

89. Force an ugly tattoo "Upon" him.

90. Have Armand throw him off of every tower he can find…

91. Play records of war movies and insist that "they're after you, Lestat!" Just like on Home Alone.

93. Steal his bad eye and flush it down the toilet

94. Force him to go to SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous)

95. Make him go to college to make him become an OBGYN

96. When he is still in his death sleep, force him up a tight air vent.

97. Send him to the show for therapy.

98. Have a house party when he is gone.

99. Make him run for president.

100. Force him to do a speech for President Obama.

101. When the coven is together play the part on CD, Of his book where Lestat is infatuated with his own shit.


End file.
